Thought taught

Have been writing all poems lately and now I realize I stopped writing what I actually used to write in this space earlier. I thought poems would be easier way of saying many things in less words and thought it was the better way. But seems like it is difficult for others to decipher or rather no one has that extra time to pause and ponder what was intended.

Have been experimenting a lot with my personality since few months now. This time I tried to be the baddy, a straight forward guy without any filter between thoughts and mouth, shedding my natural nature of thinking before speaking. Result? Phew!! Don't ask, it has been difficult. People say they like the straight forwards, but they find it difficult to digest the facts. Thats why things are always marketed with expensive wrappings, now I understand why? People have complex way of making logical decision. They say one thing, follow another and do something else. But still they stick to what they say. I too do the same, I did that without knowing and have been pointed by the people who observed me.

Have been a difficult time with this new personality. People have their own firm conclusion about me now and everything that they had thought of me earlier (the good ones) all those are blown away. I know they have misunderstood me, proving them wrong will only make things worse. Let's leave it to the time to decide. My professionalism has been challenged by this new nature. People started thinking I mix the personal and professional life.

What I have known lately is that, every individual is selfish to some extent. But we don't acknowledge to this fact. Every individual wants and shows himself to be thought of as a good person, whereas he himself knows from within that he is not so. Every individual is afraid of sharing the meanest or the selfish thought that he is having with his closer ones, just for the sake that they will change their opinion about him and start judging him with that thought. They don't understand it's just a thought and not he himself.

Humans !! more you try to understand this topic more it gets complicated. Let me stick to my basic nature from now on and let people know me by that only, enough of too much experimenting with these.

Sooraj ke ghar walon

kabhi sooraj tha idhar, tab oss tha moti sa chamakta akela

woh sooraj dhoob chuka hai ab, jo sikka chamakta tha woh khota nikla

jis sooraj ki taraf udaan thi bhari, usise hai yeh parein jaliin

bas nafrat dikhe har aankhon mein, kisike nazron ki mujhe parwah nahiin

raaton ke sannaate mein cheekon ke gale jab kat jaayen

woh murde hont kabhi sajde na keh paaye

sooraj ke ghar walon aana na iss gali

humne sab kuch hai lut diye saaya bhi chod chali

sooraj tho meherbaan hai tum par itni tho shukr karo

paheli ko paheli rehne do, usko na suljao

Sapnon ka jahaaz

sapnon ke jahaaz par baithe uss manzar ki orr badh raha hoon

saagar ke leheron ke sang muskuraate chal raha hoon

saahil sthir apne jagah par hai khadi

apne armaanon ko dabhaaye apne zidd par hai adi

saagar lehron se apne darkhwast hai bhejta har pal

shorr karta thakrata pataron se khal-khal

saagar ke gehre iss pyaar ko woh na jaane

isme chippi sundar sansaar ko na pehchane

bas namkeen aasoonwon se bhar gaya hai saagar

neele ambar se dhuwan kar raha hai sab kuch paakar

tim-tim karte taare, iske ummeed ko khayam rakte

deewane saagar ko yeh aur kaise samjaate

saahil chuppi mein reh sab kuch seh raha

usoolon se bandhkar bas aankhon se keh raha

kaajal mein chipe woh boondein kya dikhe

saagar ko ja koi batla sake

saagar ke ashru se zamee nahiin sinchti

saahil se saagar milkar nahiin milti

bas iss dil ko yeh samjha raha hoon mai

chal raha hoon mai, bas chal raha hoon mai

Kyon

Akelei pal mein mai ghum hoon kyon

sannaate mein yaad aaye woh pal hi kyon

jise bhula na paaoon aisa dard kyon mila

kahaan ja raha tha aur kahaan mai chala

aise aankh moonde unn aankhon ko yaad kar raha hoon mai

tapkaake boonde syaahi se likh raha hoon mai

Akelei pal mein mai ghum hoon kyon

sannaate mein yaad aaye woh pal hi kyon

woh mujhse yoon mili, socha mai sudhar gaya

woh yoon chod chali, kaanch sa bikhar gaya

ek-ek kar thukdon ko jod raha hoon mai

baar-baar TooTtha hoon, but i don't know why

Akelei pal mein mai ghum hoon kyon

sannaate mein yaad aaye woh pal hi kyon

New year

Well, I did not write even for a single time the whole of last year. Suddenly life seems so busy and fast paced. Those 24 hours in a day doesn't seem sufficient. I am into 27th year of my life and I already feel like I have reached 30 or more than that.

Recently a senior citizen told me, at this age we become silent and behave very matured. May be he is right, but at the same time it feels so boring to think that life will be more serious in the years to come.

January is here again, hopefully this year will be a good one. Last year wasn't really great. I lost faith in our system when the CWG scam broke out, so many cases of corruption and such huge public money being misused for personal greed, I feel hopeless, I feel disgusting of every politician and people involved in such activities. This disgust feeling has made me stop reading the newspaper or watch news, which was least expected of me.

What else! lets hope I get more time to keep writing.

'Pee'ple

After almost a year long gap I am writing this post. The non-availability of the internet connection at home was the main reason. While in office where I used to write sometimes when I was in project, now I can't anymore as everything is blocked in the new office.

While most of my friends are spearing ahead in their life, achieving goals and setting new ones, my life seems to be is in quest of something else. Understanding life is a difficult thing but understanding life with others on this planet seems to be impossible. I knew that people of this age are not good and show no sympathy and have no guilt for the wrong doings they do, but when you see such things happening to you it is more uglier than knowing.

Two sounds are disturbing me at this moment, the noise of refrigerator and the ticking of the clock. My cousin and brother are sleeping. Next Sunday is my brother's birthday, I am planning to buy a nice gift for him, but what makes him feel happy is the big question. The once fat wallet has become lean and mean now, thanks to the petty people of this city.