Yesterday I mentioned about iphone in my blog and to my surprise when I reached home I found an exclusive news on zee-business channel about iphone getting released in mid of August and the price will be about Rs.24,000. Which is a great buying price for a phone having so many awesome features. I am keeping my fingers crossed on buying it.
Well I had a nice dream in the early morning at around 6 am. Since, my friend has requested not to mention about the one not to be mentioned, I'll keep mum on this. But it was a real nice dream, I hope I won't see it again. Wondering why?? Well that is what the doc has prescribed.
Though the dream made me awake at early hours in the morning, I took my own time to getup from the bed. It was 10 am and to my surprise there was no water supply for the first time in my apartment, due to some plumbing work. I had to fetch water from the sump and finish my daily chores. Today is thursday, my favourite day for reasons unknown to me. Tomorrow is a colorful day as we'll be wearing color dresses to office and day after I'll be flying to Pune. Damn!! I don't know how I am going to survive the following days in Pune coz it's the place where the person whom I won't mention stays.
There is one good looking gal in my office. My friend is too much crazy about her. Though him being good at looks and having good knowledge about work that gal never pays attention to his gazes. My friend caught her gazing at me today and was disappointed about it. This is not the first time happening with me.Well, all in all I had a nice Thursday.
Love.
Thursday, July 31, 2008
Wednesday, July 30, 2008
Tip tip.. tip tip.. baarish.. shuru ho gayi!!
The weather of Bangalore has suddenly changed (Bangalore ki baarish aur Bangalore mein hue pyaar ka koi bharosa nai hota!!). It's always drizzling here nowadays with fresh wind blowing reminding us what we inhale is air. You see water everywhere, every pothole filled with water, as if someone has planted mirrors on the road. Whenever I see so much of water it reminds of few lines from Coleridge's "The Rime of Ancient Mariner"
Water, water, everywhere,
And all the boards did shrink;
Water, water, everywhere,
Nor any drop to drink.
In my story I didn't kill the Albatross (I wish I could have) but she is happy now staying at golden walled dungeon. She would have been more happy with the breeze that I am enjoying now than staying there. Well, that is her choice.
"Baaquda tumhi ho.." is the new song that I am liking from movie Kismat Konnection starring Shahid Kapur. Well, Shahid and I share a Kissmat connection too, we broke from our girlfriends in the same period of time. Well his kismat is good getting rid of Kareena aunty.
After not so long time I am feeling like traveling to some scenic place with my digicam. I am desperately waiting for a Nikon DSLR, the price of which is keeping me away from buying it. Currently, I am waiting for the iphone releasing shortly in India. I miss my good friend from Delhi doing his MBA, we had a nice time during weekends during last one month. He is one big gizmo freak, most of the guys would consult him before buying a cellphone during our college days.
love.
Water, water, everywhere,
And all the boards did shrink;
Water, water, everywhere,
Nor any drop to drink.
In my story I didn't kill the Albatross (I wish I could have) but she is happy now staying at golden walled dungeon. She would have been more happy with the breeze that I am enjoying now than staying there. Well, that is her choice.
"Baaquda tumhi ho.." is the new song that I am liking from movie Kismat Konnection starring Shahid Kapur. Well, Shahid and I share a Kissmat connection too, we broke from our girlfriends in the same period of time. Well his kismat is good getting rid of Kareena aunty.
After not so long time I am feeling like traveling to some scenic place with my digicam. I am desperately waiting for a Nikon DSLR, the price of which is keeping me away from buying it. Currently, I am waiting for the iphone releasing shortly in India. I miss my good friend from Delhi doing his MBA, we had a nice time during weekends during last one month. He is one big gizmo freak, most of the guys would consult him before buying a cellphone during our college days.
love.
Tuesday, July 29, 2008
Eltit is reverse of title
Many topics crossed my mind before writing this blog today but none of them gave me strong motivation to write on them. So, I thought of simply start writing without any specific topic in mind.
"Right or wrong is just another point of view" was the line I caught watching movie on TV the other day. That gives me some relief whenever I feel guilty of things that I've done in my past. But it is so difficult for a mind to accept something which is a bad deed as good. Well that is my point of view.
The salary day is nearing by. Though my work is priced four times than what I get as salary, it makes me feel I am overpriced. I feel discomfort when I see people putting all their effort to earn every penny. My work is no where near to their effort. It is just a sheet of paper which makes all the difference between me and those people. The sheet which says I have done my engineering. Well that is one of the flaws of a democratic country. Everyone wants to kiss the butt of US. Sycophancy seems prevalent in our culture right from Aryans, Mughals, British to Americans. Politics! an ugly game on earth where not the players but only the spectators lose.
Everything on earth seems to be waiting for something. River flowing to the sea, night waiting for the morning, relations waiting to be broken, men waiting for the most beautiful and women waiting for the wealthiest.
"Right or wrong is just another point of view" was the line I caught watching movie on TV the other day. That gives me some relief whenever I feel guilty of things that I've done in my past. But it is so difficult for a mind to accept something which is a bad deed as good. Well that is my point of view.
The salary day is nearing by. Though my work is priced four times than what I get as salary, it makes me feel I am overpriced. I feel discomfort when I see people putting all their effort to earn every penny. My work is no where near to their effort. It is just a sheet of paper which makes all the difference between me and those people. The sheet which says I have done my engineering. Well that is one of the flaws of a democratic country. Everyone wants to kiss the butt of US. Sycophancy seems prevalent in our culture right from Aryans, Mughals, British to Americans. Politics! an ugly game on earth where not the players but only the spectators lose.
Everything on earth seems to be waiting for something. River flowing to the sea, night waiting for the morning, relations waiting to be broken, men waiting for the most beautiful and women waiting for the wealthiest.
Monday, July 28, 2008
Shit happens
I think I've not come out of the depression state medically speaking, as the doc had said on my previous visit that all the feelings would prop up once I stop taking anti-depressants and same thing is happening. Life seems so hopeless because of this feeling, all because of that one person whom I love and care the most or rather I used to. I am unable to concentrate on things I need to, I feel I'll never be able to get the love of my life. My confidence has shattered, I've lost faith on myself, on my luck and on God. I am endlessly waiting for my life to get over. Nothing seems to amuse me.
Suddenly, something flashed into my mind. I imagined her coming back to my life. I think if she comes back nothing is going to change. I won't be trusting her anymore. I'll start hating my life even more for playing such a prank with me. Then what should be done to make myself feel better. To start thinking whatever happened was for good purpose. When will I see the day when I'll be the most happy. When will I see love in my life again.
I still cry during lonely nights, I feel heavy at my heart, I feel terrible. Life seems so hopeless and uninteresting without the love in my heart. This heart is filled with pain and guilt.
Enough of being Devdas and all those craps. What I am waiting for in my life is a beautiful wife with kind heart and cute kids and lots and lots of money.
Suddenly, something flashed into my mind. I imagined her coming back to my life. I think if she comes back nothing is going to change. I won't be trusting her anymore. I'll start hating my life even more for playing such a prank with me. Then what should be done to make myself feel better. To start thinking whatever happened was for good purpose. When will I see the day when I'll be the most happy. When will I see love in my life again.
I still cry during lonely nights, I feel heavy at my heart, I feel terrible. Life seems so hopeless and uninteresting without the love in my heart. This heart is filled with pain and guilt.
Enough of being Devdas and all those craps. What I am waiting for in my life is a beautiful wife with kind heart and cute kids and lots and lots of money.
Friday, July 25, 2008
Boom boom blast
Every time I declare that I am healing or getting out of those painful feelings, the very next day I feel low and the pointer of my memory start pointing back to those moments. Phew!! again I browsed the internet for healing these feelings, and I found a better one for the first time. The ideas mentioned were quite different and not sure whether it is going to work but since I've not tried them so far, I'll do them for sure.
Well, to talk something different. Bangalore was attacked today with a total of 8 bomb blasts!!! As a built-in hobby I couldn't stop myself to find out the first one to inform about it over internet. As always I found it first on Zee news site and a while after I found it on The times of India website, my trusted news source though too much flashy and lots of ad filled agency, they don't stop impressing me. I think I have a connection with something related to photography, journalism and adventure. Well, that is another part of my mind which keeps thinking about the clue for life. Though logically it is a complete waste of time, the mind never stops thinking about these life related issues.
Singh is king.. singh is king.. sing is king.. oh! that is the new title song running in my background. I keep repeating one line from it.. Dil agar saccha ho tho rab sab kar de setting.. Well, no prizes for guessing who is searching for the setting. I have lost faith on myself that I am a good person as a matter of fact I am a person who believes in actions and one act has made me to lose that faith on myself. I like accepting whatever grave the truth is. If I am an a**hole, then yes I am, I am like that, no offenses.
The 2 years change method mentioned in the above written site quite impressed me. I had faint idea of it somewhere in my mind, as I have experienced myself all my life that everything perfectly changes after every 2 years and that makes me glad because one year is already over and another year would change everything. Lets see whether this compass finds its destination (I associate myself to a compass).
I wrote many things today that to within 24 hrs of my previous posting. I feel good writing though my database of vocabulary sucks.
Have a blast!! (The very sarcastic me!!)
Well, to talk something different. Bangalore was attacked today with a total of 8 bomb blasts!!! As a built-in hobby I couldn't stop myself to find out the first one to inform about it over internet. As always I found it first on Zee news site and a while after I found it on The times of India website, my trusted news source though too much flashy and lots of ad filled agency, they don't stop impressing me. I think I have a connection with something related to photography, journalism and adventure. Well, that is another part of my mind which keeps thinking about the clue for life. Though logically it is a complete waste of time, the mind never stops thinking about these life related issues.
Singh is king.. singh is king.. sing is king.. oh! that is the new title song running in my background. I keep repeating one line from it.. Dil agar saccha ho tho rab sab kar de setting.. Well, no prizes for guessing who is searching for the setting. I have lost faith on myself that I am a good person as a matter of fact I am a person who believes in actions and one act has made me to lose that faith on myself. I like accepting whatever grave the truth is. If I am an a**hole, then yes I am, I am like that, no offenses.
The 2 years change method mentioned in the above written site quite impressed me. I had faint idea of it somewhere in my mind, as I have experienced myself all my life that everything perfectly changes after every 2 years and that makes me glad because one year is already over and another year would change everything. Lets see whether this compass finds its destination (I associate myself to a compass).
I wrote many things today that to within 24 hrs of my previous posting. I feel good writing though my database of vocabulary sucks.
Have a blast!! (The very sarcastic me!!)
Thursday, July 24, 2008
Me back
Now that's a thousand time I think before changing the name of the blog so that at least someone will find my blog over search engine and leave a comment. And as usual, I again drop the idea and stay firm on my decision of not going towards fame.
Well, after a lot of struggle with my mindset and oh yeah! still keeping her memories in my heart I am coping up with myself in this lonely journey on this lonely road. It seems as if I am never going to forget her and her love. Let me see if I'll ever find that Mrs. Right in my journey and will she be able to make me forget my past.
When it comes to deciding upon when to go for higher studies, my mind stands baffled. I am not able to decide. All those financial reasons and my fears of not being successful in this new venture is hindering my final go. Let's see what will happen, as always I leave it to the time to decide, the best decision maker and few times nice screwer. Another reason could also be the new interest in computers and coding, that is new to me. Well, technology has always fascinated me, but have never understood why people sit in front of this monitor gazing endlessly and doing that kaat-pit sound of typing. Now I seem to understand, very similar to the ode that I never understood, but by itself one day it started speaking to me. Every thing is almost so similar in this nature yet so different and so diverse. Living or non-living every one has life. It is just the communication gap between we human and those non-living. Let's see one day another Basu will prove this.
Time to leave.
Love.
Well, after a lot of struggle with my mindset and oh yeah! still keeping her memories in my heart I am coping up with myself in this lonely journey on this lonely road. It seems as if I am never going to forget her and her love. Let me see if I'll ever find that Mrs. Right in my journey and will she be able to make me forget my past.
When it comes to deciding upon when to go for higher studies, my mind stands baffled. I am not able to decide. All those financial reasons and my fears of not being successful in this new venture is hindering my final go. Let's see what will happen, as always I leave it to the time to decide, the best decision maker and few times nice screwer. Another reason could also be the new interest in computers and coding, that is new to me. Well, technology has always fascinated me, but have never understood why people sit in front of this monitor gazing endlessly and doing that kaat-pit sound of typing. Now I seem to understand, very similar to the ode that I never understood, but by itself one day it started speaking to me. Every thing is almost so similar in this nature yet so different and so diverse. Living or non-living every one has life. It is just the communication gap between we human and those non-living. Let's see one day another Basu will prove this.
Time to leave.
Love.
Monday, July 7, 2008
Eternity of despair
Whenever I feel extremely alone but feel like talking to someone. This is the place where I come. Writing the blogs. Though no one has read my postings yet due to unusual naming, I feel someday it'll be read by someone and read it between the lines.
I feel terrible today, which is not new to me. I feel guilty when I look back into my life. But life has been very cruel to me in this department of heart. He knows where I'll get hurt the most. He is so wicked to me in this respect and He is very consistent at doing this. I wanted the one in my life and she wants to make me wait for very long. It's totally untrue that there is someone made for each one of us. It's a terrible lie. We were never born and we won't perish any day and we were alone, all alone in this journey which is never ending.
So much cruelty, so much selfishness prevail on this world. Each one of us saving our own head, fulfilling our own desires. Probably, that's the only rule of living. I don't want money, no fame, all those posh environments. I wanted the one, only one. And that person is so cruel, so much without heart.
What is the solution to this eternity of despair. So that I can repair. Why the battery of happiness is always low in my life. Such a waste individual I am, such a waste design, such a waste of time and resource.
I feel terrible today, which is not new to me. I feel guilty when I look back into my life. But life has been very cruel to me in this department of heart. He knows where I'll get hurt the most. He is so wicked to me in this respect and He is very consistent at doing this. I wanted the one in my life and she wants to make me wait for very long. It's totally untrue that there is someone made for each one of us. It's a terrible lie. We were never born and we won't perish any day and we were alone, all alone in this journey which is never ending.
So much cruelty, so much selfishness prevail on this world. Each one of us saving our own head, fulfilling our own desires. Probably, that's the only rule of living. I don't want money, no fame, all those posh environments. I wanted the one, only one. And that person is so cruel, so much without heart.
What is the solution to this eternity of despair. So that I can repair. Why the battery of happiness is always low in my life. Such a waste individual I am, such a waste design, such a waste of time and resource.
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