Eternity of despair

Whenever I feel extremely alone but feel like talking to someone. This is the place where I come. Writing the blogs. Though no one has read my postings yet due to unusual naming, I feel someday it'll be read by someone and read it between the lines.

I feel terrible today, which is not new to me. I feel guilty when I look back into my life. But life has been very cruel to me in this department of heart. He knows where I'll get hurt the most. He is so wicked to me in this respect and He is very consistent at doing this. I wanted the one in my life and she wants to make me wait for very long. It's totally untrue that there is someone made for each one of us. It's a terrible lie. We were never born and we won't perish any day and we were alone, all alone in this journey which is never ending.

So much cruelty, so much selfishness prevail on this world. Each one of us saving our own head, fulfilling our own desires. Probably, that's the only rule of living. I don't want money, no fame, all those posh environments. I wanted the one, only one. And that person is so cruel, so much without heart.

What is the solution to this eternity of despair. So that I can repair. Why the battery of happiness is always low in my life. Such a waste individual I am, such a waste design, such a waste of time and resource.